Netflix amuses me. I recently watched Notes on a Scandal, which was excellent, and now it’s trying to match me with other movies. It has decided that the two relevant categories are unrequited love and forbidden love. I’m not going to spoil the film for anyone who hasn’t seen it — I’ve had too many enjoyable movies spoiled for me by thoughtless people so I try pretty hard not to do that — but I will say that those are *not* the primary themes of the movie! It’s definitely dark and disturbing, but I still highly recommend it: beautifully acted, really thought-provoking, and I love me some Bill Nighy.
And while I’m there, can I just say that I refuse to believe in unrequited love? If it’s one-sided, it’s simply not love! Infatuation, a crush, an obsession, affection, sure, but not romantic love. Because at the end of the day, wanting to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you? Not a healthy way to be. And probably a really good indication that it’s time for some reevaluating. That’s why when two people break up it’s not good for one of them to beg to get back together. Because even if the initiator of the breakup capitulates, the other person is admitting they’re okay with being with someone who doesn’t want to be with them. Everybody deserves better than that. Everybody deserves to be with someone who wants them, and who doesn’t have to be convinced or bullied into it. So unrequited love? Just means you don’t respect yourself enough to admit you deserve better.
But I’m not this much of a hardass on other days, so it’s possible my view may be softer next time I think this one through.